一个人的生活

Sunday, April 8, 2012

放下...

人家说相爱容易，分开难..
可是对我来说离开后的事才是最艰难的..
那就是放下你所拥有的..

事情发生也几个月了...
我都放不下忘不了...
我觉得我自己很失败...
为什么我就不能像其他人那样走的潇洒？

直到前几天...
我去见了他一面...
看到他的时候我觉得他过得很开心很快乐...
我顿时醒悟了...

他已经不是我的了..
或是他根本没有喜欢过我...
这些我都不想去猜测了...
是时候该放下去过我的生活了...

现在，
我们只是朋友，
我已没有权利再干涉他所选择的生活，
我只能够在他需要帮忙的时候去帮助他...
我只能够以朋友的名义去关心他...

‘放下有这么难吗？’
我的好朋友都这样问我，
而我，
每次都是以笑带过这个问题....
因为我根本没有尝试过..
从来没有所以我都不能从创伤中走出来...

可是现在我决定要放下了...
我知道对我来说是很难的一件事...
给我一点时间吧，我一定会成功的!!

因为现在我们只是朋友！
好朋友！！

~这首歌正形容着我们~

Friday, March 2, 2012

回忆~

‘你们看，Joyce最近都在对着电话傻笑，然后都没有在听我们讲话’

‘就是咯， sweet到......’

‘Joyce, 你要不要去做身体检查？查下有没有糖尿病？’

‘我这样不好么？难道说你们要看我黑黑脸你们才高兴哦？哈哈……’

‘Selina 也是！整天按电话！又是熊猫叻？哈哈……’

‘你们到底是不是在一起了？’

‘我觉得是咯！每天都有通电话，而且都是几个小时几个小时的。哈哈……’

‘都跟你们说没有了咯！有了一定第一个告诉你们的啦~’

这是我们这几个死党 Selina, Joyce, Nelson 和我的对话~

我很高兴身边的朋友都能找到自己想要的~

我能感受他们的快乐~

虽然说我们四个之中的小孩子告白失败了，可是很欣慰的他很快的就能够想通了~

小孩子现在和他喜欢的人是好朋友~

Joyce 和他的 Gabby 在缠绵中~

Selina 也在和他的 panda 在甜蜜中~ （虽然他没承认他们在一起）

而转过头来看看我自己，我什么都没有....

我还是一个人……

我打从心底的祝福他们为他们而开心~

可是又有谁看到了我忧伤的一面……

我也曾经拥有过像他们一样的时候……

可是现在已经成为一段历史了……

有时候想想如果我没有发现那些事情，我们还是像以前那么好……

可是就因为那个信息毁掉了这一切……

我跟他的一切就这样毁了……

在发现到的那一个晚上……

我还记得第二天我还有生物考试……

那天晚上我崩溃了……

我想哭却没有眼泪出来……

我发呆了一个晚上……

从那天起，我完完全全的变了一个人……

我完全不讲话，一个人躲在房间里不知道在干嘛……

有时候我在哭的时候被他看到了，他问我做么，我没回答他……

‘你不要这样啦，你到底做什么？告诉我啦，不要再哭了啦’

当他说了这句话的时候，我又再一次的崩溃了……

我大哭了一场……

当他要去找他爸爸的那一天早上，

我很早就起来了，

买了酒坐在游泳池旁边，

终于我告诉了他我到底怎么了……

‘你在哪里？’

‘你不用管我，你走吧，你看不到我可能会你比较高兴！’

‘你到底在哪里？我很担心你……不要做傻事啊’

‘你跟他走吧，你不用管我了，我看的出来你跟他比较快乐！’

最后我投降了，我告诉了他我在哪里……

他来的时候我哭着……

我哭得很厉害……

‘不要再哭了，你会把我也给弄哭的，我不值得你哭’

‘……你走吧’

他站在那儿一段时间才挤出了‘bye bye' 这两个字

过后，我一个人去了很多地方……

去了有我们两个人的回忆的地方……

朋友（尤其是我的死党）都叫我放手

可是事情发生了到现在我还是放不了手……

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

My Secret and The Truth

‘信任与不信任只是一线之差’

看到这句话后，我看了看自己，想了想，为什么我不能从‘不信任’中跨出去？信任一个人真的有这么难吗？可能吧我疑心病太重了...

那几天所发生的事情，我永远无法忘怀...

叫我忘记它，叫我从悲伤里走出来，

这都是不可能的，

也没人知道我为了这件事每夜都在哭泣，

没有人会了解，也没有人会明白....

我知道他根本没有错，也是我自己要emo的，

他根本就没做错什么，他有权利选择自己的生活我无法插手，

可是你知道那种痛吗？我想连他都不懂....

Thursday, November 17, 2011

得不到...

为什么别人可以这么的幸福？

我要的只是很简单....

可是为什么就是得不到?

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

原来....

当你知道了，你却不能做什么...
你只能默默的看着，默默的想着，默默的流泪....
没有人会懂你的心酸，你的心痛....
只有你自己知道那有多痛....

以前的感情，以前所说得诺言，所发的誓，
应该只有你在那儿遵守着，回味着，
这些东西已经不被看重了，被看重的只是现实....
什么他与你所立下得天长地久，所说的未来，全都成了白烟消失在空气中...

为什么他把他与你之间的事情看得那么儿戏呢？
难道说你就那么的不值得他去看重吗？
你处处为他着想，把每一件事都做的好好的给他...
为什么他还是这样的对你？
你所付出的还不够满足他吗？
他到底要什么？你觉得越来越茫然，没有头绪....
他与你的这条路已经越来越难走了....
跟以前比起来，
那个每天会跟你通至少3个小时以上的电话，
每次有事第一个告诉你，
当他要你买东西给他得时候就会跟你撒娇，
那个每次有事不管好坏都是先找你的那个他，
那个他已经慢慢的慢慢的消失在你的眼里....
他已经不像以前那样了，完全变了....
你已经失去了原来的他，也很可能就这样永远的失去了....

为什么这种事会发生在你身上？
你要求的不多，
你只要平平淡淡的跟他过完一辈子直到老死...
为什么老天爷连这一丁点的愿望都不能帮你实现？....
你是哪里做的不够吗？
老天爷不但没帮你反而把他变成了这样子....
你与他经历了这么多为什么还是得不到老天爷的保佑....
没有了他，你等于什么都没有了....
他是你的一切....
你把他视为一切可是他却没有在珍惜....

Thursday, May 19, 2011

离别...

这几天我真正的感觉到离别的时候的那种痛苦...
那是应为有一些好朋友要离我而去了....
虽然只有短短的五个月....
可是我们之间的感情远远超过朋友...
我们就像一家人一样....
一起玩乐...
一起哭闹...
我真的很舍不得他们走....
可是大家都是为了自己的未来而打拼的...
现在我只希望他们未来的路一直都是光明的....

Saturday, February 19, 2011

我错了...

经过了漫长的思考...
我不应该去想着另一个他....
虽然他的个个方面都跟他一样...
甚至名字...
我应该是要做好自己去完成我的使命...
对他的使命...
我要保护好他好好的照顾他...
虽然他选择的不是我...

但我希望他可以找到他永远的幸福...

Friday, February 18, 2011

遇见...

这几天心情不太稳定....
很烦....
我不知道我自己在干嘛.....
我又遇见了另一个他....
一样的名字...
一样的性格...
一样的轮廓...
我知道我跟他是不可能的...
可是上天为什么有让我遇到另一个他...
我真的很烦...
不知道自己应不应该做点什么...
虽然上天给了我另一个机会...
可是我无法把已经在我心里很久很久的人搬走...
我不能再打开我的心...
我试着..
可是我觉得不可能了....

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

As darkness looms I gaze into the candle light...
My heart feels the pain of wanting you with me each night

You came in to my life and brought a calm in my heart...
But now it just seems we are always so far apart

The brightness, love and happiness you brought to my life...

Has been a source of releasing so much of my strife

I miss the times you reached for me then pulled me ever so near...

I miss the times you used to say “I love you “so softly in my ear

Thinking back on how long it has been...
I daily long for the time when you kiss me once again

My body aches to feel your arms holding me tight...
And just knowing you are there all through the night

Realizing we both have our own life struggles and pain...
Through these days we must not let our feelings wane

Even though we talk each night and each day...
My soul still aches with our being far away

I not only need you… but want you with all of my heart...
And pray to God for a day when we are no longer so far apart

I am here for the long haul to see this thing out...
And in hopes that you are having no doubt

Just know that I have grown to love you and always will...
For there is a place in my heart that only you can fill.......

Miss You.....

I miss the way you look at me

With eyes so caring and kind
And everytime that our eyes meet
It's love in your eyes I'll find
I miss the way you touch my cheeks
Your hands so warm and gentle
The way how you can slow down time
And how you always seem to know
I miss the way you hold my hands
Your fingers entwined with mine
Your every word that touch my heart

Your smile that makes my whole world shine

I miss the feeling of your warmth
When you hold me close and tight

All my troubles, they disappear
In your arms it feels so right
I miss the way you kiss my lips
And just everything that you do
I wish you were here right now
Because I really miss you...

Sunday, January 23, 2011

A Lonely Heart

Come 2 me when u r sad

Come 2 me when u r mad

Come 2 me when ur in love

I'll b there with open arms

When I close my eyes

I dream that i'm with u

But as I open them

All i see is lonely me without u

This feeling that I have

Of hurt and desire

Is just me missing u

Every waking hour

I pray to god that u won't leave

So u can stay forever with me

But as u see ur not here

My worst fear is now near

Without u life can't go on

But i guess i have 2 b strong

I'll think about you forever

Until we r 2gether

Friday, September 10, 2010

Bottom Of The Heart

Don't talk anymore my love

Just look at me

and you will understand
how I feel.
Look deep in my eyes

and you'll see your name,

my soul's broken mirror.
I love you more than you believe,
like you are my life,
my other half,
my subconscious guardian angel.
Look around you,
has anyone loved you more than I do?
Never cry my love
cause you'll make me bleed.
Always be happy
cause your smile is a source of life for me.
I breathe when you breathe.
But forgive me
for what I say.
I know you feel nothing.
For you I'm just a silly game
that you played with once
and now you hate
even to look at.
I'm sorry for my feelings
I know they drown you,
they don't set you free.
Come and tell me you hate me
that there's no other chance,
no fake hope.
Don't show me, but tell me.
And then I will leave
I swear I will leave you,
my endless pain.
It's not your fault,
I can't blame you
it's me who loves you.
Tell me your truth
and you'll never see your name in my eyes again,
cause I'll keep our past and my love
in the bottom of my heart
and I'll be gone...

A Broken Heart

How do I mend a broken heart?
My entire world has fallen apart.

How do I find hope in a brand new day,

when the one I love has gone away?

My mind overflows with memories of you,

of all that we've shared, all that we knew.

I long for your touch and your warm embrace,

the look in your eyes, the smile on your face.

My dreams are filled with your kiss,

I wake and cry for all that I miss.
How do I mend a broken heart,
when my one true love and I are apart?
My heart knows to love only you, it won't let go, what do I do?
Our moments together were precious and few,
but I cherished them all more than you knew.
I love you my angel and always will,
I loved you then and I love you still.

Teach me to let go

Teach me to stop caring
When I think of what we were
Teach me to stop crying
When I see you there with him

Show me how to live again
When you're not here with me
Show me how to fight the fact
That we're not meant to be

Tell me that I'll be alright
And my life will be okay
Without you right here by my side
To hold my hand each day

Let these teardrops wash away
Don't let this heartbreak last...
Let me let go like you did
For you've forgotten me so fast

I already miss you

Looking back on everything,
I still remember her smile.
I wish things didn't end so soon,
And turn back time for a while.

No matter how much it hurts,
I still love her so.
A part of me needs her so much,
Can't seem to let her go.

Knowing I won't be able to see her,
Makes my heart cry out in pain.
I can't believe we won't talk anymore,
The thought makes me wanna go insane.

She was my reason for waking up,
For the smile you see on my face.
Going a single day without her,
Makes me feel so out of place.

I was afraid of opening up,
Now I'm afraid of the next day.
Whenever I see her one last time,
I'm terrified of what she may say.

I know tomorrow will hurt,
But the tears will fade away.
Life is too short for regrets,
There will be a brighter day.

But when I see her one last time,
I won't know what to do...
When she tells me that last goodbye,
I'll whisper,"I already miss you.."

Nothing Gonna Change My Love.......

'If I had to live my life without you near me
The days would all be empty
The nights would seem so long
With you I see forever oh so clearly
I might have been in love before
But it never felt this strong
Our dreams are young and we both know
They'll take us where we want to go
Hold me now
Touch me now
I don't want to live without you
Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You oughta know by now how much I love you
One thing you can be sure of
I'll never ask for more than your love
Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You oughta know by now how much I love you
The world my change my whole life through but
Nothing's gonna change my love for you
If the road ahead is not so easy Our love will lead a way for us
Like a guiding star I'll be there for you If you should need me
You don't have to change a thing I love you just the way you are
Soe with me and share the view I'll help you see forever too
Hold me now, Touch me now I don't want to leave without u
Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You oughta know by now how much I love you
One thing you can be sure of
I'll never ask for more than your love
Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You oughta know by now how much I love you
The world my change my whole life through but
Nothing's gonna change my love for you'

To me..
i like this song...
it is also meaningless to me...
Coz nothing will change my love to the person but the person will never know it...
never....
Maybe someone will think tat i am a nincompoop..
waiting a person who will not even look a me..
but they dun know one thing..
tat is the power of love..
Love maybe blind..

But it will never be black..